The Line Went Dead
by FuckMePumps
Summary: [Of old things, of love, of loss, of beauty and death] Probably one of the saddest and sweetest RaiKim stories you will ever read. Will you pass it up, or take the chance? R


**a/n **A new fic. Something I'm pretty proud of. One of my longest oneshots, with a plotline similar to _Gemini, _with a Xiaolin Showdown twist. That's about it, and, oh yeah… one of the most bittersweet RaiKims you'll ever read. Thank you, and enjoy.

Inspired by the Naruto Kiba/Ino fic _Unconventional _chapter three: _Good Night _by Nightambre. It's truly awesome.

**disclaimer **I don't own Xiaolin Showdown, or the songs 'Silent Night' and 'All I Ask of You.'

**-**

**-**

**_Death is a very beautiful thing. It's a release. It's a closure. It's the end to one story and the beginning of another story. It's very integral to life… Death is tragic... Death is ugly, so is life in the same way._**

**Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance**

**-**

**-**

Her own pulse quickened when she heard the eerie, continuous beep of a flat lined heart on the monitor. The resident ER surgeon's eyes met hers wildly for a moment before roaring a command for the fibrillator.

He grabbed the paddles and set them on his bloodied chest, yelling the counts.

She and the nurses watched helplessly as the doctor tried to revive the stilled heart, but the battle was already over before it began.

"One, two, clear!"

A shock. His torso practically leaping off the gurney.

"One, two, clear!"

Another electric jolt. The stat machines screaming the dreadful truth.

"One, two, clear!"

One last try. Nothing. The hope died in the doctor's eyes, the anxiety replaced by immense sadness.

The doctor removed his disposable filter mask, scrubs and gloves, then she and the rest followed silently, looking at anything but the man, the _boy_ they failed to save.

Slowly, the rest of the ER team assigned to the case filed out of the room, heads bowed low with anguish.

She turned to the body, feeling a lump in her throat as her eyes welled up. She went closer, observing the very numerous wounds and abrasions that grisly decorated his frame, amongst the other minor cuts and bruises. Her medical eye saw that beneath the outer damage, there were worse injuries under the skin; shattered bones and internal organs bleeding beyond repair.

His other companions said it was the outcome of a quest, a battle, a simple retrieval mission gone horribly, horribly wrong. They themselves were battered and beat-up, but they pleaded that the doctors attend to their fading teammate, friend, _leader_ first.

But it was of no use, even they knew that.

He was fated to die today.

He was dead.

Then she remembered that other little detail about him, other than being part of the Xiaolin monks, and the whole situation became graver and more heartbreaking than it already was.

She took a sheet from one of the cabinets and laid it over his body, covering the face she knew from long before.

Megan Spicer wrote down his time of death shortly before midnight.

-

-

A full, healthy cry filled the room just after midnight.

The new mother's sky blue eyes displayed extreme exhaustion, but that was mixed with accomplishment and immeasurable gladness as she gazed at the face of her (their) baby. Unusually, his eyes were already open, and she saw them to be sharp emerald green. Just like his father. So, so beautiful. She smiled.

_He is _his _son, after all._

Though others around her were joyful and celebratory, she felt strange. A wet-blanket feeling that dampened the happiness of the event.

She decided to blame it on the odd sense of premonition over the last few hours. Even as she cradled her newborn infant against her breast, something was out of place. She tried to keep smiling, truly grateful to come out of such an ordeal with a healthy little boy, she couldn't put her entire heart into it.

She couldn't stop thinking that something bad, no, _terrible_ had happened.

-

-

When they entered the room a few hours later _without him_, not bothering to take in their sorrowful expressions and the blood and grime of their clothes, she knew instantly what had happened.

Omi made it to the side of her bed before the tears started to spill, and he couldn't help himself from throwing his short arms around her, crying feebly (he had always been the youngest, no matter how grown up he pretended to be). Clay stood a little farther away, trying to swallow his heavy sobs with a wide hand covering his face and his broad shoulders slumping and shaking.

Master Fung and Dojo chose to wait outside.

The other occupants of the room, family or other friends, glanced mournfully at her before going out.

She let Omi bury his face into her shoulder and clutch her hospital gown until his cries softened to sniffling, and Clay went over to stand beside them, trying not to let his red-rimmed eyes show.

It must have seemed ironic to anyone else, because she had lost the most yet was the one comforting them, but she preferred it. She wanted to be strong, especially now that her source of strength was gone.

-

-

Omi had fallen asleep curled up beside her, and Clay contented himself to sitting down beside her bed. She could tell he was struggling to stay awake, but dozed off here and then. It was a familiar scene that presented itself when they'd all be tired from a certain trip and have their own sleeping positions, but something, _someone_ was missing.

_His brow scrunched up as if in deep thought, then relaxed just as swiftly. He shifted positions often, which made her quite nervous because after all, their 'bed' was a shape shifting mystical flying dragon and they couldn't afford to fall out of it._

_Unknowingly, she peered closer to see just how that certain brown lock of hair fell over his forehead in an childlike manner, making him seem almost innocent in the moonlight, a feat impossible to picture in the afternoon and when he was awake._

_Suddenly, his eyes fluttered open, and she was faced with two forest green pools. For a moment._

_The edges of his lips curled into a smirk. _

'_Gotcha.'_

The memory of those eyes, forever etched into her mind, reminded her of another pair just like them.

Gently, she shook her two remaining team mates until they awoke, groggily.

"Come on, you guys," she said softly, with just a hint of melancholy. "Don't you want to see Rai's baby boy?"

-

-

The delivery had gone well enough for her to be able to walk a couple of hours after it, but not enough for her to stumble at times and need someone to assist her.

Gradually, she led Clay and Omi into the nursery as she leaned against them, dressed in her hospital gown and looking weary and rumpled. But not at all grieving. As if the reality didn't sink down yet.

There was a night shift nurse on duty, and she told her the baby's last name. The nurse walked them through the lineup of infants, and she searched for the one that was her own.

Number 14. Tan, Arian. Small and yellow with dark curls.

_Not hers._

Number 15. Muse, John. A sprinkling of freckles across the little nose and a thumb stuck in his mouth.

_Not hers._

Number 16. Li, Meng. Wispy, light brown hair with a hand closed around the railing.

_Not hers. _

Number 17. The name taped to the bed and encircling the tiny wrist said only 'Pedrosa.' With a mop of thick black hair, and deep jade eyes staring at them innocently, the only one awake in the room.

Despite it all, and almost forgetting the presence of everyone else, she smiled.

_Hers. _

-

-

"Hey there," she whispered. "It's your mommy, sweet, precious little one."

She gathered him in an embrace, raising the porcelain forehead to her lips for a kiss.

She played with him for a while, then turned to Omi and Clay.

"Say hello," she insisted, allowing Clay to take him in his burly arms. Omi tiptoed to take a peek.

"Hey there, lil' fella. I'm your Uncle Clay, and this is your Uncle Omi," Clay said, deep voice wavering.

"Hear that, Omi? You're an uncle!" She exclaimed, clasping her hands. Omi seemed transfixed by the eyes that were so much like their leader's, and could only manage with a 'Hello, baby. Hello.'

She opened her arms to reclaim him, and Clay carefully gave him back to her.

She rocked him gently, humming, then looked questioningly at the two of them.

"Can you take us to his daddy?"

-

-

Omi and Clay protested only a bit, stating that she had just given birth and needed her rest. Both knew in the back of their minds that she needed him more.

She would not budge, and after they made her promise that she wouldn't overexert herself, they hailed a cab and took her to another hospital in the city.

-

-

Everyone knew who they were, even in their less-than-perfect condition, and needed only to show their faces before the clerk in the reception area called for someone to take them to the morgue, only making them sign a visitation form.

Even though she argued, Omi asked for a wheelchair for her while Clay filled out the form.

Then a nurse came. It was Megan, who had become their friend ever since she helped them defeat Jack, seemingly oh-so long ago.

It was obvious that she was trying to compose herself, but when they got to the elevator going down, she asked to hold the baby while a tear trickled down.

"I'm so sorry, Kimi," she said as the baby watched them.

"What for?" She replied, almost detached.

"Nothing," Megan mumbled back, then turned to focus her attention to the baby.

-

-

They arrived at one of the bottom floors and were taken to a room smelling of death and decay. It had grown uncomfortably silent and even the baby began to sense the tension.

_He_ had just been wheeled in, and so didn't need to be placed in one of those awful drawers where they put cadavers in for identification.

They stopped at a gurney near the entrance, following Megan's lead, and without forbearing she uncovered the white cloth.

Kimiko gasped and choked at the sight. Omi turned and Clay bowed his head again.

His healthy tan had turned very pale, and some of the blood still hadn't been washed from his still, lifeless form. It surprised even her how much blood there was.

She reached out a hand to touch his cold, hard cheek, fingering his broken skin, looking as if she bit her tongue.

"Hey, hey," she said to the baby, lowering herself slightly so he would be closer to his father.

"It's Daddy, see? Daddy's here now, everything's gonna be all right, okay?" She assured her son, even if she didn't believe her own words. "It's all going to be okay, you'll see… Daddy's here, and Mommy's here, and we'll all be happy, okay? Okay?"

She shook him slightly to emphasize, and the infant seemed disgruntled, tiny face crumpling.

"Hey, Rai, it's your son. I brought him to you. Can't you see? I brought our baby, you idiot, and it was supposed to be the other way around." She chuckled bitterly as tears leaked from her eyes, and the baby began to cry upon seeing her do so.

"Ssh, come on, hush now, we're here, we're here, I'm here…"

But the baby wouldn't stop, and Megan offered to take him. She and the other dragons retreated to the front of the room, at the door, to give the star-crossed lovers some privacy.

Kimiko collapsed over Rai's motionless form after that, weeping so miserably it made everyone's hearts break.

"He's so beautiful, isn't he?" She inquired from the closed, unseen emerald eyes. "And he's ours, you know. That beautiful little baby is ours. Our own little boy." And then, "Didn't you wanna see him grow up? He'll be so wonderful, you know, just like you. Why'd you have to leave so soon? Now you'll never, never ever see…"

She ran her hands over his face, his hair, the sewn-up wound on his chest that would never heal into a scar, as if wanting to touch what she could of him before the chance was over.

"Hey, hey," she cupped her hands over his cheeks, leaning close, her tears falling on his icy skin. "You, you wanna know something else, huh, Rai?"

She dipped her head and pressed her desperate lips to his blue ones, whimpering and crying incessantly.

"I love you, you idiot, you jerk, you fool, you stupid, stupid guy…" She sobbed, trying to hold close his unresponsive form.

"I love you, you know. And I… I always will. Our baby will too, and too bad you won't be there, you won't be there, and nothing's all right anymore…"

She buried her face in the crook of his neck like she used to do, and her sobs hushed to murmurs in his ear.

"I love you, Raimundo Pedrosa. I love you, I love you, I love you so, so much, Rai… I love you…" She repeated, wishing to convince him that much, that certainty.

'_Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bri-haha…!' He erupted in laughter and she punched his shoulder. _

'_You can't even sing a carol without laughing. Quit it!' She hissed, shoving the little paper hymnal in his face. 'Now, come on, like this…'_

'_All is calm, all is bright…' She sang, and he laughed at her again, making her jab him yet again._

'_Damn…' He wiped tears from his eyes. 'Sorry, girl, you're just so funny, looking so serious and all with those Christmas songs…'_

_She blushed while he held his stomach, which was already aching. _

'_Rai…' She said sternly. 'Come on, it's tradition. Just one more time. Now, from where we left off?'_

_He sobered up. It seemed so important to her, and even if it seemed stupid, he guessed it should be important to him too. 'Okay, okay…'_

'_Round yon virgin mother and child…'_

_He joined her in the next line, their cacophonic voices strangely transforming into a peculiar yet pleasant harmony._

'_Holy infant so tender and mild… sleep in heavenly peace…' They locked gazes and broke into grins at how well it was going, and her fingers entwined with his, in a gesture that meant 'Thank you.'_

'_Sleep in heavenly peace.'_

"I love you.."

All the while, their baby's cries melded with her own.

-

-

In the days that she remained in the hospital, there was no pressure to name her son right away. Not in the tantalizingly slow days that followed, not even during the services, which Master Fung and his family from Rio arranged.

She wanted to make sure that if she were to choose, it would be the right name.

She kept her composure at the services, greeting and serving drinks and snacks to the guests. Everyone assumed she was doing particularly well.

"Auntie Kim?" Someone tugged at her skirt. She looked down to see Rai's youngest sister, Teresa.

"Hmm?"

"Can I have…" She pointed to the Styrofoam cup in her hand. "The coffee?" She said with a heavy Portuguese accent.

"Hey, you're not supposed to be drinking this," she reprimanded almost playfully. "Why don't you go to Dojo, and he'll make you some hot chocolate, okay?"

Teresa pouted. "Okay." Just as she was turning around, she felt a tug again.

"Um, Auntie Kim?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you… lift? I want to see big brother. Raimundo." She said, glancing sadly at the casket.

"Uh…" Kimiko pointed to her stomach. "I… can't carry you today, Resa. Wait…" She scanned the room for Clay, then called him over.

"Hey, what do you need, Kimiko?" He asked, just right after accompanying his fiancé, who was a friend of Jesse's, to look at Rai.

"Resa wants to see Rai. Can you help her?"

"No prob. Wanna go on a piggyback ride, Teresa?"

Teresa squealed.

She left them to resume her place at the front door, where other visitors, foreign faces which looked like the citizens from the town nearest to the temple, were coming in.

Everyone offered condolences, and even if she wasn't sure what that meant, she said thank you anyway.

"Kimiko?"

A familiar voice spoke behind her, and she turned to face a lanky, pale-skinned man with flaming red hair.

"Jack? Jack Spicer?" She repeated incredulously. "You're here… wow…"

He shrugged. His face became sharper than she remembered, but the eyes were kinder, and lacked the dark makeup. He was dressed in clothes that weren't to be classified as gothic. Just a normal person now.

"I heard about, um… you know, Raimundo. Rai, I mean. And I…" He stumbled over his words awkwardly. "I just thought I'd come by to say… To say I'm sorry, um, for your loss."

He was about to stretch out his hand to shake hers, when he laughed, hesitantly.

"Um, well… _that_ wasn't crappy or rehearsed. Haha. Sorry." He smiled repentantly. "So, um… what I wanted to say was…"

"It's okay, Jack. I understand." And she did, actually. "Thanks."

"I mean it." Jack sighed, scratching at his nape. "So… how are you holding up? You seem… well."

She sighed too. "I've… I've been better. It's just weird, you know? I still can't… can't believe he's not here anymore. That he'll never be. And I, I miss him, that's all." Her tone cracked, but she tipped her head back to keep the tears on hold.

"Yeah." They sat for a while and watched people file by the casket to take last glimpses at the fallen hero. Then Jack started again.

"Um, I'm sorry, you know. For before. For those times I stole from you guys, or tried to ki—" He trailed off there. "What I mean is, I'm sorry I was… that we… that whole world domination thing, for the trouble and…"

"Forget it. It's okay, it was over a long time ago. You… don't have to feel guilty about it," she said sincerely.

"Well, I just wish I could have apologized to Rai too, while, you know, I still could, and…"

"I think he forgave you already, when you stopped chasing after us and stealing our Wu. He gets stuff like that quickly, you know?"

"Yeah. That's… that's good to know." Jack paused. "Hey, um, would you mind if I…" He motioned to the casket. "I just wanna… say goodbye."

"Oh, go ahead. If you want, you can go say hi to Omi and Clay too, they're somewhere around here…"

"Kimiko?"

"Yeah?"

He hugged her briefly, taking her by surprise.

"Rai… he was a good guy, you know? But I know, from all the times I've fought you and got my ass kicked… I mean, you'll all get through this, even if you think you won't 'cause it's hard. God, I imagine it is. But you're going to be fine. You'll be okay, okay?" Was Jack's attempt at comfort.

Though it wasn't the best, she valued the effort. "I hope so, Jack." She looked at the casket where Rai, her husband, her best friend, her true love, no matter how cliché it sounded, lay and felt another crack resonate in her heart.

"I really, really hope so."

-

-

She and the others had stayed at the funeral parlor for three days when it was decided they needed to go home, at least for a day, and have a break.

"Kimiko…" Her mother-in-law, Regina, said, with the same accent Teresa had. She was only somewhere in her late forties, but having lost two children, with Rai included, she looked older, sadder, torn. "Would you… like me to take baby… while you rest? I can bring him to temple where family stays… and take care of him, until we return again. You can have… time alone, _think_ of my boy, Raimundo."

Kimiko cuddled her son, pondering. She made a decision.

"I really appreciate that offer, Gina, but… I think I'd like to keep him with me, if you don't mind."

Regina nodded. "I understand." The older woman patted her arm, then Rai's big family, Omi, Master Fung and the other monks boarded Dojo to return to the temple.

She and Rai, as well as Clay, had rented apartments nearby where they returned to after spending time at the temple and training, and Clay stuck by to accompany her home in a cab.

"Why'd you decline Gina's offer to take care of him for a while? You need your rest, you look really worn out," Clay said without his usual barrage of metaphors as they waited for a taxi to drive by at the sidewalk.

"Honestly?" She wrapped the baby tighter in his swaddles, marveling at the lovely, perfectly formed features.

"He's all I have left of _him_."

-

-

When she flicked open the light switch to the living room, she half-expected to hear a TV on in the other room, with Rai's commentaries on the particular room overpowering the volume. Then she remembered.

"Oh." Was all she could say.

She turned on the stereo to distract herself from her thoughts, then went about the usual routine before going to bed. She washed and changed the baby's clothes, then carried him in one arm while breastfeeding as she arranged even the slightest misplaced thing in the apartment.

Suddenly, the CD in the stereo changed track to the nostalgic echo of violins, and she fell backwards to the sofa.

"No more talk of darkness, forget these wide-eyed fears… I'm here, nothing can harm you-- my words will warm and calm you…"

It was their song.

Coincidentally, it had played in the radio the first time he leaned in to kiss her while they washed dishes, and the song followed them as background music to their first date, their first anniversary, the time he proposed, on their wedding day.

It basically told their story.

'_Dibs on your first dance,' he whispered in her ear as they walked down the aisle after exchanging vows, rice grains and roses falling at their feet._

_She squeezed his elbow. 'No duh, weirdo.'_

_He snickered, but whispered a response again. _

'_Love ya.'_

_She held on just a bit tighter to him as they neared the vehicle that would take them to the reception. _

'_Love ya too.'_

"Say you need me with you now and always… Promise me that all you say is true-- that's all I ask of you…" She sang softly, tearfully, rocking her baby to sleep.

The song took her back to every single memory, as if it was breathing.

As if he was alive.

_She had a piece of beef teriyaki halfway through her mouth and he almost snorted wine out of his nose from laughing at something one of his brothers were saying when it played._

_He stood up, went behind her, and offered his hand._

'_Remember our deal awhile ago?' He said with a grin in his voice._

_It was at that instant that she realized that she was going to spend her life with this man that she became overwhelmed with joy that she cried until the second verse, while he coaxed her towards the dance floor._

_Finally, she got up from her chair, and the crowd cheered. With her makeup ruined at her arms in a tight embrace around her new husband, she wondered what she did to deserve such a wonderful life._

'_**Let me be your shelter, let me be your light… You're safe, no one will find you, your fears are far behind you…'**_

_He hummed as they swayed together, letting the song take over their minds. She balled her fists on his shoulders, fearing that if she didn't hold on firm enough he might fade away._

'_**Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime… Let me lead you from your solitude…'**_

'_Rai?'_

'_Kim?'_

'_I'm happy.' She said simply, finding no other words to describe her emotions._

'_**Say you need me with you here, beside you… Anywhere you go, let me go too-- that's all I ask of you…'**_

_She felt him breathe against her hair, taking in the scent of her shampoo._

'_I am too.'_

'_**Say the word and I will follow you… Share each day with me, each night, each morning…'**_

'_I've never felt so lucky.'_

'_Me neither, except my word is 'blessed.'_

'_**Say you love me… You know I do… Love me-- that's all I ask of you…'**_

'_Rai?'_

'_Hmm?'_

'_I'm so, so glad I'm doing this with you. I can't imagine it with anyone else. And I mean it.'_

'_I can't even begin to describe how I'm feeling. I love ya, Kim.'_

'_Rai…'_

'_And I'll never, ever leave you, okay? Believe me.'_

'_You don't have to tell me that. I love you, Rai. I do.'_

'_You too, Kim. You too.'_

"Anywhere you go, let me go too ... Love me-- that's all I ask of you…"

The baby was sleeping by then.

After the song finished, she wiped her eyes and turned off the stereo, truly feeling weak. She tucked in her son and lay on what used to be their bed, unable to get over the feeling of loneliness. It was different when he went to look for Wu and she stayed home because she was pregnant, or when he sometimes went on solo missions because by then, he could harness the full power of the wind and not need Dojo to fly.

There had always been the knowledge that they'd be together again.

But now, he wasn't coming back.

She allowed herself then to look at the life she'd brought to the world. As he slept peacefully, it was clear how much the child would grow up to resemble his father.

She brushed at the velvety black hair, probably the only thing he'd inherited from her, and the drowsy eyes opened. So much more sensitive than other babies.

His eyes became more brilliant illuminated only by a night lamp, and, choking back a sob, leaned over and kissed the green eyes closed, a small consolation that she would be able to continue an old habit.

"Goodnight, Rai," she said to the darkness, then waited for sleep to come as more tears sprang in the corners of her eyes.

-

-

They had talked about it before. If he were to… go unexpectedly, he wanted to be cremated, and his ashes be divided to scatter across Rio and the temple. On top of it all, he wanted _her_ to do it.

So now, here she was, a throng of friends, family, and faithful strangers behind her, and the Dragon of the Wind's lifeless body in front, waiting to burn.

Now, the blood had been completely washed away, the wounds and scars covered with makeup, his hair set in its usual fashion. But even that did nothing to hide the unnatural paleness of his skin, the blueness of his lips, the comatose position of his limbs.

She bent down and brushed stray brown hair from his eyes, like before. She laid a kiss on his forehead, then his nose, then his lips, like before. Then she embraced him one last time.

She didn't even try to stop the tears from coming, falling freely down her face now, as she summoned a small spark with a snap of her fingertips. And without further ado, she set the man she loved on fire.

'_In all the years I've known the guy, he never let me down. Or if ever he did, he always found a way to make things right…' It was Santiago, one of his old friends in Rio, speaking._

'_My son may not be seeming like it often, but he's very helpful and puts others before himself…' His mother, while at the podium, was never running out of thing to say, or tears to cry._

'_I remember… he has this thing about trying to understand everyone. He's like that. Got this thing about wanting to make the world better too… I think that's why a lot of people liked him, or hated him._' _Said the sister that came right after him, deadpan Isabel, who spent most of her time at the wake staring at her dead older brother, as if expecting him to wake up and tell her it was all a joke._

'_I used to think I didn't have a brother, but I reckon I had one in Rai all along_… _Just wish I noticed sooner, that's all.' A distressed Clay said, his head far from being held high and proud like it used to._

'_I have been wrong about Raimundo many, many times, but he always forgave me… He was a great leader, far better than I shall have been, and I am very grateful that I have met him… He told me once that I should never 'dry flowing dairy products,' but I never really understood. If I can talk to him once again, I shall ask him what he meant…' It was kind of funny, and kind of sad, how he could never translate for Omi again._

'_Never has there been a Dragon as compassionate as he was, and I believe there never will be…' Master Fung was gravelly as he spoke, and Dojo, for once, was speechless and could not find the proper thing to say._

_As for her? _

_(What was a eulogy? The dictionary says it is Simply a tribute speech to one who has died, not a magic spell that can bring them back. So what was the point? The use? Where was the meaning in everything you say?_

_She couldn't have told you before, but she could now._

_It was for remembering.) _

'_He's the kind of person who, at first you'd hate to love, then you'd hate to miss… the kind that's hard to let go of but will tell you to do so anyway… the kind that will take on your all problems to avoid seeing you get hurt, and if he can't do so, he'll punish himself for it… the kind that stays with you, so that when you love him, you know you'll love him forever.'_

_Summarized into, 'Raimundo Pedrosa was many things: Xiaolin Dragon of the Wind, enemy of the Heylin, hero, son, brother, friend, husband, father… the list goes on, but most of all, he was Rai. I just couldn't be happier that he was _my_ Rai. That's all.' _

She stepped back with the crowd, watching mutely as the flames she created consumed him, smoldering his flesh, the muscles and tendons beneath, and the bones…

Watching as it turned him to ashes.

-

-

The baby remained nameless for nearly a month.

She was careful not to call him something he would get used to, though she called to him with whispered 'Hey's so often that might end up on his birth certificate. She smirked, thinking of how ironically hilarious he would have thought that was.

"_You know, I've been thinking. Those vows they made us say at the wedding were wrong." He said on one quiet day, right after their honeymoon._

_The ice-cream she binged on awhile ago seeped into her, putting her on sugar rush. "Why'd you say that? You know, so we can change the system before our kids get married. Or maybe you're looking for a loophole, so that when we divorce you end up with all my dad's money. Gold-digger."_

_He laughed as she thumped his cement-hard stomach. "No, I'm serious. 'Cause, you know, I don't think anything, not even death, can part us."_

_His fingers closed over hers, and she sensed her heart swell._

The scene played in her head as she knelt before the memorial. Because he was cremated, there was no grave she could cry on, nothing left of him but dust scattered across the earth. She was beginning to regret it, but it was a heartbreaking kind of peace, like closure. Resting her son against her knees, propping him up in a sitting position, Kimiko watched him for a moments as his unfocused eyes (the green is still so much like Rai's) tried to take in the world around him.

She felt a cool breeze blow by her face, whipping her hair around her, and watched as her son fell lightly on his back, laughing and trying to curl his little digits around his equally little toes. So much innocence, purity, and simplicity captured in a single snapshot.

"Not even death," she murmured in answer, noticing the sun's rays reflect on her clear cut emerald wedding ring. The baby reached for it as well, not able to resist something so shiny.

She thought for a moment, then rested her hands on the tiny shoulders of the infant before her.

"I thought long and hard, and I've decided to name your son, finally. You're such a jerk for leaving me to do such a hard job. Hmph. A sloth as always, huh?" She laughed as if sharing a joke. Maybe she was.

"Anyway, the name I picked out should be appropriate. He got your stubbornness; persistent in an annoying yet adorable kind of way. Won't let something go once it catches his attention. He'll probably be rolling over or crawling soon, 'cause of that. I really should ask Gina if you were like that too. And he's also addicted to certain things that come from me." She broke into a huge grin, then bit her lip to keep her composure.

She opened her mouth again, but nothing came out. She felt ridiculous for having this part of her that looked forward to the gray stone replying to her.

She heard her child make a pleased sort of noise, then looked down. He was leaning against the memorial, hand pressed against the recently carved name of his father.

She smiled again, and this time, did nothing to hinder it. She scooped him up in her arms, then traced the name on the stone with a sense of finality, then stood up.

"Hey, Rai. Aren't you hungry? I think we should go eat now or Daddy might make a crack about how Mommy's been starving you." She turned to walk away, heading in the direction of the temple, then halted in mid-step.

She put two of her fingertips to her lips then pressed them against the inscription of her husband's name.

"I miss you." She lifted her gaze to the sky, certain that eyes just like her son's, like her wedding ring's, like a pure gem, were watching over them that very moment. Every moment.

"I'll be seeing you."

And with that, she left, while the wind blew away what _was_ left.

_fin_

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_**Please review.**_


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